Softness & Sanctuary

I don’t know where to start after so many years of short form writing. I am awake at 4 am. There’s very little I can share about what is keeping me up, which reminds me how much I long for safe spaces. Dipping my toe in. Tonight, at 4 am, I have these two words that have been showing up everywhere lately. For a long time it has not been safe to be soft, to let my guard down. I have had to worry about my surroundings, my place in things, whether I am in the right place at all. As this mind bender of a year winds down, I’m calling in a gentler chapter. And a lot of S words it seems…space, support, sovereignty, softness, sanctuary. I am exhausted from having to stay alert. I need rest; to lay down and curl up in warm blankets, to keep my circle small, intentional, kind, a cocoon of care for my heart and nervous system. I plan to be away from social media as much as possible. The path I’m taking requires different kinds of devotion. It calls for clarity, simplicity, and intention. A dear friend reminded me recently on the phone “You don’t need much, Jude. You never have. ”, which is true. What she means is that all I've ever needed to bounce back is just a little boost of some kind, the basics, and the rest I can handle. Looking forward to a year where there will be more than enough, and the opportunity to dig deep, grow things, and build a life.